Sex Robot's Fortress of Solitude

Man, that was such a bust! Really, who knew I had so much actually riding on that? I certainly didn't.

I think I get upset just for the sake of being upset. I'm becoming those people at the office who come to work to treat it like a soap opera.

?!tahw eht ?!ckuf

Dear notepad,

plugging my new domain:

SHIOT.com

sexually yours,

Cram

I haven't updated this in awhile, I don't really know why. I've been neglecting bobby-digital.net, too. I guess it's just my modus operandi, baby. Have I been kicking ass, lately? Yes, but not too much goes in the life of Me. Nearly got into two car accidents, two days straight. That was fun. Fun meaning piss-pants terrifying.

I have to talk about something, because if I don't, dictators will send dictatorship dogs after me. Nothing important, just something topical. Speaking of dictators, Saddam was captured...for all of you who were in a hole for the past 9 months and didn't hear the news. Oh wait, that was Saddam. Saddam looked sad in that footage, didn't he? All that sagging skin and unwashed hair. A pity. Just seeing him get his teeth examined almost made me forget his 3 decade reign of terror. What kind of footage is being filmed where Saddam getting his teeth examined is what's being distributed to the news media? MY kind of Saddam would be flailing limbs and fighting back soldiers with an intravenous fluid rack. A dude getting his molars checked? That's a defeated man right there.

Current Mood: exanimate
Current Music: Super Nice Rap Crew - Lollipops 101

The nicest thing that I have ever been told -


"I can't imagine you with children."

Does anyone feel odd when you're at the gym? I'm assuming that if you do go to the gym, you go by yourself. But even if you do go to the gym with a friend, you're basically ditching them behind once you start your workout. You're just too busy trying to 'dig deep' to acknowledge anyone else while you're in the middle of a 400 pound benchpress. And for that reason, I think working out is a very personal and private thing to do. To me, it feels odd sharing a full-lengthed mirrored room with 15 other people that think the same thing. Working out at the gym is like using the urinals at the public restroom - do what you gotta do and please don't make eye contact. Besides the techno crap playing on the sound system, it's pretty silent in there. It's like a library with dumbells.

Current Mood: recumbent
Current Music: Bear Maul City - Salmon Swim Upstream To Do It

Hello Car,

I love you. Please don't do those things you do that make me wonder if you still love me too. Like this morning, you decided to let your battery die. That ain't cool, baby. I was listening to some SM Town Summer Album 2002 and then you decided to spit out the cassette adapter attached to the iPod. I can't speak for the iPod, but that sure made me cry. After we went through all that trouble to jumpstart you later that day, you still decided to act up. You don't know how embarrassed I was when you shut off at that stop light. WE WERE ALMOST HOME, SWEETHEART. Having to stop traffic so they can let us push you into that nearby gas station made me wonder. It made me wonder if I wronged you somehow. If so, did it have to take 4 hours to end our bickering? Are you channeling a past life where I cheated on you with another car? Baby, if I did, that was the past and now you're my one and only.

I'm on my knees and begging you to treat me the way you did when you rolled off of that assembly line. I just want your love, that's all.

Love,
Marc

Current Mood: horny
Current Music: Peter Frampton - Baby, I Love Your Way

I'm calling you out, mothafucka. I can take you on, anytime, anyplace. I will kick your ass inside out. I will destroy you in a cage match on a lake of fire, biatch. I can skin you alive. I will eat your heart and gain your poor excuse for courage. The pain I will inflict on you will far exceed your most gruesome nightmares. You will cry like a little girl. The horrors that you will suffer when you clash with me will make the devil weep. I will bring you down.

I go on AIM often to see the numerous away messages waiting for me to view them. There are two certain SN's that I always see with an away message to the effect of, "I'm sick, fuck me!" And you always get a sense that they're surprised that they're sick, as if Satan came upon them in the middle of the night and cursed them with illness. The funny thing is that just the night before you'll see their away messages say, "Alcohol's my pal" or "Drinkidy-doo, I love you!" Coincidence? Ich denke nicht.

I like alcohol. I like alcohol alot. I make love in alcohol. I make love TO alcohol. But please listen, people - Alcohol may taste great and fill you less, but it is incredibly bad for your body! Do not take its power for granted! Now...

...let's drink!

Current Mood: ditzy
Current Music: S#arp - kiss me

Hi, my name is Marc. The doctors used to tell my Mother, psychic Dionne Warwick, that I would grow up to be "one ugly mofo." I left my quaint island in the Pacific Ocean at the age of 3 to find a piece of driftwood in the sea to float on. I washed ashore at California 7 months and 3 comas later. By the age of 5, I was entertaining the homeless with tales of flaming garbage cans 10 acres wide and distant planets where the surface was made of spare change. At age 10, I single-handedly defeated the Somalian Army with only a duffel bag of throwing knives and a canteen of Gatorade. At age 13, I learned how to go potty by myself. By age 18, I was receiving hundreds of letters from University admissions offices from around the United States. They declined my applications. There was one, however, that accepted me - Cal Poly. Their acceptance letter consisted of little more than a 3x5 index card and the rubber band that was used to wrap it around my picket fence. It said, and I quote, "Weelcome to Cal Poly. Bring plenty of pen and papur for u will be taking notes in klass. First day of instrucshon is the 21rd. Be ready!1" And that leaves me here - age 20, knee-deep in College education, and discovering Livejournal for the 1rd time in my life.

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: Kill Bill's vengeance theme